I have always known that my mom had a severe anaphylaxis allergy to peanuts. When I was a bit older I realized that she avoided all nuts. She was very careful about chocolate in particular as far as I remember as a kid. I’m sure she would have many items to add that she was careful about, but that’s one thing I remember in particular. Kids memories are funny aren’t they?! Chocolate definitely is an area of concern for people with peanut and tree nut allergies. She even made us peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when we were kids. There was a strict rule that the knife goes in the jelly FIRST and the knife had to go directly into the dishwasher, NO RINSING in hot water first! I still have that same strong rule in my house just in case someone comes to my house that has a peanut allergy.

When my middle daughter had severe food allergies as an infant, and then had an anaphylaxis reaction to peanuts at 18 months old, it didn’t come as a huge shock. I will write a blog post at some point about my daughters anaphylaxis reaction. Knowing my mom has an anaphylaxis allergy to peanuts greatly helped us when my daughter had her reaction. I adopted some ways that my mom has lived life with food allergies for my daughters. One thing that I have greatly appreciated about my mom and her food allergies is that they have never stopped her from enjoying life. She takes them seriously, takes appropriate precautions, but they don’t keep her from living life to the fullest. My mom travels all over the world, enjoys restaurants, and time with family and friends. Her food allergies certainly don’t define her.

Since two of my daughters have had severe food allergies, my parents and I have talked a lot more about their experiences. My dad is a Dr. so he too has added a great level of comfort for our family with food allergies. We always know that if anyone has a severe reaction and panics, he won’t panic. He’s calm, cool, and collected all the time in every situation. That has helped all of us to see life a bit in the same way. Clearly, he also takes my mom’s food allergies seriously and has been there for many of her anaphylaxis reactions. It’s great to have a Dr. with you everywhere you go. 🙂

My parents have taken amazing care of our girls and their food allergies. They don’t get a lot of social media posts from me on how they care well for my girls because they have my girls without me often. 🙂 Date nights = overnight stays for my girls with my parents who spoil them with Udi’s blueberry muffins, Van’s waffles, Rudi’s bread, Pamela’s cookies, and Enjoy Life Foods cookies. I have never feared that my parents wouldn’t know how to handle a severe food allergy reaction. Let me tell you, this made my life so much easier! I know many people don’t have this same experience. My parents have been an amazing support for us over the years in many ways, including our food allergies. When we have family gatherings, my mom goes out of her way to ensure that we all have safe food for us. Thanks mom for loving us so well!!

I thought it would be good to ask my mom several questions about growing up in the late 40’s and 50’s with food allergies. This gave me great perspective in many ways. My mom is very clear that her parents response to her food allergies is likely not how others may deal with them. I want to be sure that this is not a place for judgment, but a place for us to gain understanding of one persons experience growing up many decades ago with food allergies. It has opened my eyes to understand my mom in new ways and has also brought me to a place of thankfulness that there is so much more education and help for those of us with food allergies today. Here is my mom’s story of growing up with food allergies, please read with a heart of kindness and understanding. 🙂

From my mom:
OK. This may not help much, and you may not agree with the way I was raised, but here it is… 🙂

How old were you when you were diagnosed with food allergies/what year was it? I suppose that the answer to this depends on your definition of “diagnosed.” I had my first major allergic response to peanut butter as a toddler. (ok, so that would be in 1946 or ‘47…) I was first tested for allergies by an actual allergist at age 7, in 1953.

What foods were you allergic to as a little girl? What were your symptoms for each (as brief as you want). I have anaphylaxis and occasionally nausea and vomiting with peanuts. (I’m not totally sure if the nausea is part of the allergic reaction per se, or if, as I have begun to theorize, every time as a toddler and small child I was given ipecac in the ER every time I was brought in.) I’m also very allergic to walnuts. From age 7 on I lived in a house with a huge walnut tree in the front yard that I routinely climbed. Touching the oil in the nuts caused my eyes to swell shut and hives to break out. Eating walnuts causes hives and extreme swelling and itching in my hands and ears. I have similar reactions to pecans. I’m allergic to all melons, although the reaction is less severe. When I eat melons my mouth and throat itch and I feel kind of “icky”. I ate watermelons regardless as a kid, and just put up with the itching because I like them. I can’t eat stronger flavored melons, like cantaloupe, at all. I am allergic to milk, which causes stomach cramping.

How many other people that you knew growing up had food allergies? My dad was also allergic to milk. That’s about the only person that I knew had problems with eating certain foods.

How did your parents help you with your food allergies? This is an interesting question, and one that you may not like my answer to. I had my first actual “allergy testing” at age 7. I pretty much reacted to everything that I was tested for. I’m strongly allergic to just about anything that grows, from all grass to all flowers, from weeds to mold, from dust to cats, and on and on. My allergy testing results were pretty much the same for foods. Some foods showed an exceptionally strong reaction, but others were milder. I’ll never forget leaving the doctor’s office and my mom looking at the full page of foods that I “shouldn’t” be eating. Of course it included peanuts and all tree nuts, but it also included wheat and eggs and milk and raw carrots, and melons and on and on and on. She immediately pretty much just tore up that list and threw it away… You may freak out right about now, but for me it was the best thing that she could have done. From then on she simply figured if I had a bad enough reaction I wouldn’t try eating that item again. Pretty much, “if it doesn’t kill her she can eat it.” That attitude allowed me to have personal control over my diet. It also allowed me not to feel like I was totally different from other kids. I continued to eat bread and cookies and cake (which all contain wheat and eggs and milk) and my system has, through persistent exposure, accommodated those milder allergies. I learned on my own that M&Ms in those days (even the “plain” ones) contained ground up peanuts, and I only needed one problem to never eat another M&M.

How many anaphylaxis reactions have you had in your life? Were they from direct contact eating a food you are allergic to or was it from cross contamination? This is a hard one to answer. Supposedly in my first couple of years of life I spent quite a bit of time in the hospital. I assume that at least some of those visits started with anaphylaxis, although probably most were from my severe asthma. My asthma attacks occasionally were almost like anaphylaxis because my throat was closing and I couldn’t breathe. Since early teen years I’ve always had Benadryl within reach, and take a big dose whenever I think I’ve gotten in trouble. I had one anaphylaxis during college when our chef unexpectedly decided to put walnuts in the beef gravy… sigh. As an adult I’ve had maybe 5 trips to the ER with anaphylaxis. I have carried an EpiPen, but never used it. Instead I take a bunch of Benadryl and get to an ER for IV epinephrine. I’m not totally sure how you would define cross contamination. I’ve had my throat start to close and my eyes swell shut from the steam when someone ran hot water over a knife coated with peanut butter. Because of the peanuts covering the ground and being walked on and floating in the air I can only go to baseball games when I am so loaded down with Benadryl that I’m totally groggy. I had one episode in a Mexican restaurant when they put mole sauce with peanut butter on the enchiladas instead of normal enchilada sauce. I learned that I can’t walk into a Thai restaurant because the peanuts cooked in oil permeate the air from the cooking steam and my throat will immediately close up. I had a bad time once from pesto sauce that the menu had not clarified contained ground walnuts. I know that I can’t eat at a Cold Stone ice cream place because I worry about what has been chopped up on those stones before I get my ice cream. I know that I can’t eat a Blizzard at DQ because they don’t really clean the machinery after making a Blizzard with something like Reeses Pieces. I suppose that I learned that by having a reaction from the cross contamination.

Did you ever feel left out as a kid with food allergies when there weren’t very many people with them? I didn’t really feel all that “left out.” Partly that was because the only foods that had total urgent restrictions were nuts. Partly that was because I’m pretty much an introvert and as a kid was sort of “odd” anyway. Because my parents were so laid-back and never overreacted when I had a problem with food I never actually focused on it very much. People have often asked me if it isn’t just “terrible” not to be able to eat peanut butter and chocolate bars with nuts, etc. I can’t say that it has been that hard. Since those items make me so sick they just don’t appeal to me. Basically there are so many things that I can eat that I don’t worry about it at all.

What is one piece of advice that you would give parents that have small children with severe food allergies? For me it worked to be 100% vigilant about the foods that could truly be potentially fatal, but having plenty of leeway and not overreacting and panicking about foods that might cause more minor irritations like itching or brief rashes.

Anything else you want to share with us? 🙂 Help you kids have strong self-identities that don’t stress their “differences” but stress their “similarities” to the other kids. I love that you have learned to make cupcakes and pizza and all the things that the other kids eat so that your girls never feel left out.

Thanks for sharing your story with us mom! I love you!

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